It's Thursday!

A week before Christmas. Holy cow. Time sure did fly since Thanksgiving. I can't wait for the big day though. I can't wait to see if the boys like their stuff. I have also bought things for some needy kids this year, and cleaned out closets to give some clothes away, so I hope I'm teaching them a life lesson here.

Yesterday, I chaperoned Nathan's 2nd grade class on a field trip to the McClung Museum on the UT campus and to the Clarence Brown Theater. Everyone had a blast, including me. :) At the theater, they gave us a behind the scenes tour basically. We saw the prop shop, the underneath area of the stage when they do trap doors and stuff, and then my favorite-the costume shop! They had huge dyeing vats, and then in the sewing room, they had about 4 Beninas, 2 Pfaffs and 2 Juki sergers. Needless to say, I was drooling. HAHA!! I only dream of having good machines like that. My little Kenmore will have to do.

Okay, I'm going to give you 3 things that are random, but I think are gonna make you smile.

1) Mint Truffle Hershey's kisses. If you haven't tried them, hurry to your local Walmart and buy a bag. They are da bomb diggity!!!

2) I am making keyfobs for all my female family/friends for Christmas presents. They look like this:



























and you can get the instructions here. http://www.jcarolinecreative.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=KEYFOB
They are SO simple to make.

3) Hmm, I'm gonna have to think on this one. I'll be back later with something for ya. ;)

Shame on me

I stopped blogging about this, but should have kept it up. I'll try to post a recap of everything that happened in the past year of my life with Dad.

He was diagnosed 9-25-07 with lung cancer stage 3. He started chemo immediately and had 6 rounds total from october to april. In May he decided to not treat it anymore and stopped all treatments. In August he had gotten so bad with constipation and impaction, that he consented to go with hospice for help. They came in and were able to give him relief immediately, and then continued to care for him as much as he needed, or as little as he needed. In September he started to decline and I could tell he was getting worse. By 9-24 the nurses told me he would live about 5-10 more days. He lived 17 days and died on October 11th 2008. He fought long and hard and I admire him for that. He slipped into a coma 2 days before he died and was no longer in such awful pain. His death has left a gaping hole in my heart. I'm forever changed. I'm happy he's no longer suffering and is reuntited with the love of his life, my mother Marie. But, I sure do miss him. As the holidays grow closer, it's harder and harder to be happy without him here. But, I go through the motions for my children's sakes. They deserve to have the Christmas season be as magical as always.

Then, there's the issue of my ongoing infertility. I'm scheduled for a laparoscopy in January if I'm not pregnant before then. I'm convinced there's something wrong with me, causing the infertility. If it turns out I am wrong, I don't know what I'll do or who I'll blame then. ;)

Nathan's 8th birthday is saturday and we are planning a party for him at a local pizza place. He's soooo excited!! His friends from school are coming and he's very happy about that. I can't believe my baby is already 8!! Time sure has flown by. *sniff*

Speaking of time flying, our 16th wedding anniversary is on friday. It's been a wonderful, hard, trying, loving 16 years. A lot of things have happened in that amount of time. From the death of my mother, to Nathan's birth, then Zach's, and now the death of my father. We have had our ups and downs, but the past few years have been more ups, aside from Dad's death. Our marriage is stronger now than it's been in several years and I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful man by my side who still loves me despite my pitfalls. Love you honey!!

October 3rd 2007

October 3rd 2007. That's the day my Daddy had his first dose of chemo. I wasn't sure in the hospital if he'd even fight this monster or not. But he did. And he did remarkably well, or so I thought. He had a dose the following 2 days, followed by a neulasta injection on monday the 8th. We followed up with the oncologist on Monday october 15th, only to find out that the chemo has wiped out his platelets and depleted his white blood cells. So, he's admitted to the hospital once again, for 6 units of platelets and some antibiotics to try to bring him back up somewhat. I got to see the on call doctor today, who said that Daddy is being watched closely for a bacterial infection because it seems the platelets they gave him have now tested positive for a bacterial infection. How does this happen? I don't know how that could happen. Do they not test all blood products that are given? Heck, I'm his blood type. I could have give him blood platelets if I'd know this was going to happen. I feel like a fool for not even suggesting it. I think I will talk to the doctor about it when I see him next. I won't let this happen to him again...if he makes it out unscathed from all of this. I'm so angry, I could spit nails!!!

Where to start

Well, everything was going along okay, until my Daddy called me on September 25th to tell me he was being admitted to the hospital. He had gone for some help with stomach pain and indigestion type problems, which had been ongoing and had been treated several ways, for a couple of months. The doctor freaked out to learn Dad had lost 12 lbs in about 10 days or so time frame. They wanted to do some testing, so admitting him was the fastest way to accomplish that. He had a gall bladder HIDA scan, and also a chest xray that night. The next day we were told the gall bladder was fine, but something showed up on the chest xray that looked suspicious. The next day he was scheduled to have a CT scan. The CT showed a tumor in his left lung. He needed a bronchoscopy to make sure, and to verify if it was cancer. I called Dad on thursday Sept 27th when I was on the way to take Zach to preschool, and he told me it was lung cancer, or so they thought. I was absolutely devastated. Not cancer!!!! Not that ugly awful disease that I knew was known to take lives and show the victims no mercy. I don't think I can do this. I can't watch my father suffer and die like I Mom did. I just can't. They must be wrong. Maybe it's something else. The bronchoscopy showed it was indeed a cancerous tumor. My world came crashing down around me. I'm an only child and lost my Mom in 1996 to ovarian cancer and a lung disease called Alpha-1 Anti-Trypsin Deficiency. It was a horrible, cruel thing for her to endure, and I think equally as cruel for a 23 year old to lose her Mom at such a tender age in her life. I miss her every day with every ounce of my being. I can't go through this again with Dad. I'm determined to fight, but is he?

I'm new to bloggin'

I'm starting this blog to document my Dad's and my family's journey through his diagnosis, treatment and beyond with small cell lung cancer. So please forgive me if I'm boring as all get out. I'm not that great of a writer, but I want to have this blog to remember Dad by and reflect on some day when the Lord calls him home.