Monday, October 15, 2007

Where to start

Well, everything was going along okay, until my Daddy called me on September 25th to tell me he was being admitted to the hospital. He had gone for some help with stomach pain and indigestion type problems, which had been ongoing and had been treated several ways, for a couple of months. The doctor freaked out to learn Dad had lost 12 lbs in about 10 days or so time frame. They wanted to do some testing, so admitting him was the fastest way to accomplish that. He had a gall bladder HIDA scan, and also a chest xray that night. The next day we were told the gall bladder was fine, but something showed up on the chest xray that looked suspicious. The next day he was scheduled to have a CT scan. The CT showed a tumor in his left lung. He needed a bronchoscopy to make sure, and to verify if it was cancer. I called Dad on thursday Sept 27th when I was on the way to take Zach to preschool, and he told me it was lung cancer, or so they thought. I was absolutely devastated. Not cancer!!!! Not that ugly awful disease that I knew was known to take lives and show the victims no mercy. I don't think I can do this. I can't watch my father suffer and die like I Mom did. I just can't. They must be wrong. Maybe it's something else. The bronchoscopy showed it was indeed a cancerous tumor. My world came crashing down around me. I'm an only child and lost my Mom in 1996 to ovarian cancer and a lung disease called Alpha-1 Anti-Trypsin Deficiency. It was a horrible, cruel thing for her to endure, and I think equally as cruel for a 23 year old to lose her Mom at such a tender age in her life. I miss her every day with every ounce of my being. I can't go through this again with Dad. I'm determined to fight, but is he?